People love saying they want honesty. They post quotes about “real communication.” They demand transparency. They claim they’re tired of games, lies, and fake people.
But the second somebody tells them the truth, everything changes.
Because most people do not actually want honesty. They want comfort. They want validation. They want carefully edited truth that protects their ego and keeps the fantasy alive.
Tell somebody they’ve gained weight. Tell somebody they’re lazy. Tell somebody they are the reason their relationship keeps failing. Tell somebody they settled for a mediocre life because they were scared to take risks. Watch how fast “honesty” suddenly becomes “toxicity.”
The truth is uncomfortable because it forces accountability.
Modern relationships are built on performance. People are acting. Everybody is trying to sell a version of themselves instead of revealing who they actually are. Social media made this even worse. Couples pretend to be happy online while barely speaking in real life.
People say “communication is important,” but most conversations are filtered through fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of conflict. Fear of being alone.
So people lie.
Not always with words. Sometimes with silence.
A man says he’s fine when he’s miserable. A woman says she’s happy when she’s emotionally checked out months ago. People fake attraction. Fake interest. Fake loyalty. Fake effort. Then they act shocked when the relationship collapses under the weight of all the pretending.
A lot of people do not want a partner. They want a personal therapist, a financial safety net, a source of attention, or somebody to distract them from their own emptiness. That is why so many relationships feel transactional now.
Love has become mixed with convenience. People stay together because rent is expensive, because they’re scared to start over, or because they’re addicted to having somebody there.
Not because they’re genuinely connected.
Here is another truth people hate hearing: attraction is not always fair, logical, or politically correct.
You can scream about personality all day long, but attraction still responds to confidence, appearance, ambition, energy, status, emotional stability, and presence.
People lie about this constantly because the truth sounds harsh. But pretending otherwise helps nobody.
And honesty in relationships has become dangerous because most people cannot handle criticism without seeing it as an attack. Everybody wants unconditional acceptance while putting in conditional effort. Everybody wants loyalty while keeping backup options available on their phone.
Dating apps made this worse. The illusion of endless choices turned people into consumers. Nobody builds anymore. They browse. The second a flaw appears, people start looking for the next person. Relationships are now treated like subscriptions. Cancel anytime.
Real honesty requires emotional maturity, and that is becoming rare.
It takes maturity to hear, “You’re the problem,” without collapsing. It takes maturity to admit you stopped trying. It takes maturity to recognize that maybe your failed relationships are not all because of “crazy exes.”
The brutal truth is this: most people are not heartbroken because they lost love. They are heartbroken because reality destroyed the fantasy they created in their head.
And that is why people say they want honesty — until they hear the truth.
Onward 🫡
If you enjoyed reading this and want to show your support, you can buy one of my non-fiction and children’s books at edgarescoto.com.
