The gentle kiss of the 69-degree breeze on my nalgas (butt) this morning was a refreshing embrace, especially after a summer of relentless Texas heat. Waking up in Long Beach, CA this morning, I took a moment to revel in the tranquility and mildness of the day, reminding myself of the joy hidden in life’s […]
So there I was, swiping away in the jungle of dumpster fires (dating apps). For this story, let’s just say my nickname is “The Bear,” and one might assume, I’d be more at home fishing for salmon in a stream than fishing for compliments online. But hey, a bear’s gotta eat, am I right? Let’s […]
If you’re not driven to create a legacy, then what are you even living for? It’s time to shatter your limitations, obliterate your doubts, and unleash the force within you that can change the course of your family tree. There’s no room for the timid; it’s time to be aggressive in your quest for immortality […]
Have you ever noticed how managing a relationship feels similar to managing your finances? Let me break it down for you in a way that’ll have you checking your ‘love credit score’ before your next date night. Lovers: The Weekend Rental Lovers are like those flashy cars you rent for the weekend. It’s all thrill […]
Alright, let’s get real: dating in today’s world? It’s like setting your money on fire while wearing a blindfold, hoping you might just stumble upon a diamond in the ashes. From swanky dinners at restaurants you can’t pronounce to those extravagant, impress-your-date getaways, it’s a financial black hole. But despite this ludicrous cash burn, we […]
Imagine you have a small snowball in your hands. Now, think about what happens when you roll that snowball down a snowy hill. As it rolls, it picks up more and more snow and becomes bigger, right? The further it goes, the bigger it gets. This idea is a lot like something called “compound interest.” […]
A leaky roof is worse than no roof at all. If there’s no roof, we’re not surprised and disappointed when raindrops fall on us. But a roof that leaks has raised our expectations and then failed to meet them. Promising someone a roof and then breaking that promise is far worse than having no roof […]
[Average read time: 2 minutes] You give them a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and watch helplessly as a tear slides gently down their face. And the realization strikes like thunder – you will not see, hold, or kiss your kids for a month. You tell them you love them, turn around, and walk […]
[Average read time: 3 minutes] To be honest, shit didn’t go down quite like the title suggests, but that’s what some of these salty mofos want to hear. I imagine their salivary glands moisten at the thought of reading some juicy gossip, so I wrote a little TL; DR right at the top just for […]
[Average read time: 5 minutes] It was a sunny summer day in Los Angeles. My kids and I were enjoying a relaxing day at the beach. My son was playing with toy soldiers and building a sand castle with an elaborate moat that according to him, “would help defend the castle against an enemy attack.” […]