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To be honest, shit didn’t go down quite like the title suggests, but that’s what some of these salty mofos want to hear. I imagine their salivary glands moisten at the thought of reading some juicy gossip, so I wrote a little TL; DR right at the top just for them.
I did get divorced – anyone remotely close to me already knows – they’re probably tired AF of hearing me talk about it.
Did I have a girlfriend and a wife at the same time? Nope, but that would have been interesting. Given the way things turned out, maybe it wouldn’t have been such a bad choice after all.
I did meet someone new, but that happened long after the divorce.
What is the point of this article?
I’m not sure. How about the lessons I learned from my divorce? Yeah, let’s go with that…
5 Surprising Lessons I Learned From My Divorce
1) Unfriend the ex
Being connected to your ex on social media is the equivalent of having a chair outside the window of their living room and being convinced to sit there for a while every time you go to check on the price of your bitcoin or see what your friends are doing. And right next to the chair is a photo album of the greatest moments you two have had together. And finally, there’s a microphone right there where you can say anything you want to her right now. The entire neighborhood will hear every word – the temptation is too real.
Finally, I took action. With my Starbucks iced coffee in hand, I clicked “Edit” on my relationship status and changed it from “Married” to “Single.” Better yet, I decided to block her on all social.
There’s no sense in having daily reminders of how things used to be – the only thing that matters now is where I go from here. And finally, I unfriended the people that chose sides – this is not an exaggeration – almost everyone chooses sides.
2) Do not procrastinate
Giving a relationship your all is important, but wasting the good years of your life in the wrong relationship doesn’t benefit anyone. I was married almost six years – I won’t call it a waste because I wouldn’t have my two amazing kids. Besides them, it was a waste of energy, time, and money.
Once you realize a relationship is meaningless, get out. Get out like your life depends on it.
3) Your circle is everything
When I was married, I lost contact with many friends, but never again. Divorce taught me that my inner circle is crucial to overcoming the obstacles life throws my way.
Your circle doesn’t have to be large – quality over quantity. They should have your best interests at heart.
4) Don’t have a victim mentality
Your relationship didn’t work out – shit, I know it sucks – move on and live your life.
Yes, divorce is hard, but it gave me the opportunity to meet the right girl who isn’t a shitty person – The Shitty Person Checklist.
5) It’s not the end of the world
A break-up or divorce doesn’t define your life.
In fact, I wear that shit like a badge of honor. Yes, I’m divorced and my life is just getting started!
At the end of the day, divorce is just another status in the blue party house of Facebook’s digital world.
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